domingo, 16 de agosto de 2015

2 minutos para ayudar nuestra mente

Les anexo la url de una página que realice para que cada 2 minutos por hora de trabajo podamos estar offline y levantarnos de nuestro asiento para estirar nuestros musculos, escuchar la naturaleza y ver el verde del bosque, etc.


Pueden seguir por Twitter con  #digitaldetox #dexonticacionvisual #anxiuospeople y mi cuenta @ran_solano

Qué es #digitadetox y #descontaminacionvisual ?

Curiosamente hoy me encontre con un post de Richard Eaton llamado Porqué necesitas estar una semana offline?, con este título creo se entiende a donde vamos, pero lo que me gusto fué el uso del hashtag #digidetox, algo como dexonticación digital.

Parece ser que ya muchos hemos practicado esta necesidad de estar un poco offline, en mi caso hace como 10 años atrás acuñe en mis hábitos semanales salir a hacer mountainbike para limpiarme los ojos de todo tipo de pantallas y panoramas de ciudad,autos,edificios,etc.

En mi cuenta de twitter @ran_solano comenzaré a usar el hashtag #descontaminacionvisual para todo tipo de tweets donde compartamos nuestras experiencias, tips,etc sobre las experiencias cuando estemos offline.

Why You Need To Go Offline For A Week (HuffPost)
Richard Eaton 
Technologist with 30+ years tech experience. Run @Appware providing Mobile Apps & Development. Award Winner, Speaker, Petrol head, & Dad :)

I've just returned from a week's holiday in the mountains of the Czech Republic. Before I went, I'd already decided to have a full #digitaldetox as I did last year (read what I wrote about that at the time here). So what's a #digitadetox? Basically you go completely offline (no internet allowed at all) and off grid (so no phone calls, texts etc.) to have a complete break from technology and communication with anyone you're not physically with.

For someone who spends the majority of his time online, you may think that this must be hard -- going cold turkey. Last year I did really struggle for the first couple of days. I often found myself just pulling my phone out of my pocket for no reason at all in any spare moments. I also had a few times where I'd thought, "Oh that will be a good tweet" or, "I''ll just look that up on the internet," and had to stop myself from doing so.

The best way I've found of keeping myself offline was to simply use airplane mode. That way you don't have any comms and you don't have Internet -- simple! It does, however, still let you use your camera and other Apps such as Evernote and Kindle. This way you're still able to take lots of photos, make notes of things you don't want to forget, and read books. As well as my phone, the only other tech I took with me was an iPad Mini. The main reason for this was for reading (again, using the Kindle App) as I'd downloaded a stack of books ahead of going away. That was also put into Airplane mode for the same reasons as my phone.

This year I found it 100 times easier to do than last year. I wasn't tempted even once to "just Google that" and really enjoyed the peace and quiet of not being a slave to my own technology. I think the reason I found it so much easier was that I knew the benefits from last year. I find that I'm much more relaxed, more in the moment (rather than being distracted by my phone), more creative with ideas, and get clarity on various things that have been buzzing around my head previously.

After a full week offline then, I found that when I did go back online and start work again I was much more productive. I also realized just how many interruptions and distractions I usually have. Normally my phone will be pinging with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram Periscope etc. notifications that I can't resist looking at. My laptop will be pinging up messages from Skype and Slack and every so often I'll find myself just browsing Facebook or Twitter for no reason whatsoever! This can't be good for focus, and or for productivity. So I've already taken steps to change this. I've now switched off nearly all push notifications on my phone. I've also shutdown Skype and Slack (and Dropbox notifications) on my laptop, and just check them a couple of times a day.

It's funny, because a couple of years ago I made a radical change to the way I use email, and I only check this twice a day. The main reason for doing so was to eliminate distractions and not just be reactive all day, rather than actually doing the things I should be doing. This has been brilliant, but I realized a couple of days ago that over time things like social media have taken its place! Now that I've realized this, I've made the above changes, which should increase not just my efficiency, by also free up my time to do more. I hope it will also improve my effectiveness, by making sure that the things I'm doing are the right things, thanks to my enhanced focus, creativity and clarity.

So how am I going to see whether it's actually made an improvement? For the last couple of years I've measured my productivity (on my laptop at least) using some fantastic software called RescueTime (do check it out yourself here). This software basically sits in the background monitoring what you are doing and if it deems this to be productive (writing a document) or non-productive (watching cat videos on YouTube!). At the end of the week it emails you a report with the hours you've worked and how much was actually productive. It's actually really useful stuff to know, and by monitoring it you can see what things affect you. For example, using this I saw my productivity jump over 15 percent when I stopped working from home and started working at a desk at a co-working space. It's going to be interesting to compare my productivity over the next couple of weeks compared to the couple before my holiday.

So far I can see that I am being more productive, so let's see if this continues. I'd highly recommend you try going fully offline during a holiday yourself, and then minimizing day to day distractions when you return. I'd love to hear if you've tried either before and any of our own tips?

If you've found this blog post useful, I'd appreciate it if you shared it on social media. And if there's someone you think may benefit from this post, why not send them a link? I'd also love to get your feedback in either the comments at the bottom of this page or via social media. You can find me on most platforms using @richardjeaton.

viernes, 14 de agosto de 2015

Evitar la procrastinación

La procrastinación (del latín: pro, adelante, y crastinus, referente al futuro), postergación o posposición es la acción o hábito de retrasar actividades o situaciones que deben atenderse, sustituyéndolas por otras situaciones más irrelevantes o agradables.

Can Stopping Procrastinating make us Happier?




What is Procrastination?

The word procrastination comes from the Latin words pro (for) and cras (tomorrow) and literally means to leave something “for tomorrow.”

Basically procrastination is the postponement of something that we know we should do now.

Has it ever happened to you? It has certainly happened to me…

Unfortunately, Procrastination is very common in people and most of us don’t seem to realize that the habit of procrastination can bring a lot of negativity and problems in our life, but instead of doing something about it, we seem to accept it and get on with it.

That’s why I have decided to write a post about procrastination, to inspire and motivate as many people as I can, to stop procrastinating because I believe Procrastination can kill our Happiness.

If we want to live a Happy Life and be positive we need to stop procrastinating.

Procrastination is also the opposite of ideal productivity. To produce, we need to pull and work forward to get things done, while with procrastinating, we are pushing things forward for tomorrow, next week or probably never.

I also believe that procrastination prevents the majority of human beings from getting the most out of life.- See more at:

Why do We Procrastinate?

In order to gain clearer understanding about procrastination and be able to stop it, we need to know the exact reasons why we procrastinate.
Here are some common reasons for procrastinating:
Lack of motivation.
Lack of interest.
Inability to make decisions.
Complexity of the task we have to do.
Depression, sadness and also all negative emotions tend to paralyse us and stop us from what we need to do.
Distractions are also a major cause of procrastination.
Low Energy Levels from not eating properly and not doing proper physical exercises.
General tiredness.
Stressful situations we live in.
Another popular excuse used as a comfort zone for the procrastinator is in the lack of supporting tools for the job we have to do.
Fear of both success and failure:
Fear of failure – sometimes even the hint of possible failure can effectively keep us from even wanting to attempt a particular task. Fear of the possibility of experiencing unpleasant or painful outcomes, this too can keep us from trying new things or even getting anything done at all. This could stem from bad experience which we have yet to come to terms with, therefore conveniently using this particular excuse as a good way to inject procrastination into the equation. Many people procrastinate because they fear they’ll look foolish if they fail.
Fear of success. Fear of success which is largely unconscious, is similar to fear of failure with many of the same symptoms. It can hold us from achieving our dreams and goals. We can fear of not coping with success because we will be entering an unknown territory, outside of our comfort zone.
Laziness and Lack of Discipline.
Lack of skills. The famous “I don’t know” excuse – this is one of the most popular excuses given when an individual is not really interested in getting a particular task done. By pretending this lack of knowledge the individual is probably able to keep from having to complete a certain task and with the added hopeful outcome of not being asked to do it in the future.
Perfectionism. There is nothing wrong in having high standards but perfectionism tend to set standards that are so high that they either can not be met, or are only met with great difficulty. Perfectionism also push us not to make mistakes, which are inevitable but we need in our mind that no one is perfect and perfection dosn’t exist…- See more at:

The Consequences of Procrastinating

The consequences of procrastinating can be very bad.

Procrastination is the No. 1 cause of stress. Research shows that stress is caused by leaving too many things undone. That’s why habitual procrastinators always complain about chronic fatigue, putting things off creates enormous stress in our lives, which manifests itself as fatigue.

The more we put things off, the more anxious about them we are likely to become. Anxiety is bad for our health and bad for our relationships because it usually impacts on our behavior with others. Anxiety can lower our immune system, and therefore we are less likely to fend off virus infections. Anxiety can also affect our ability to concentrate, and we are more likely to have accidents. Anxiety can, over time, lead to depression and serious mental illness.

We can procrastinate in more than one areas of our life: at school, at work, at home, in our personal relationships, in our Self Improvement.

That means that if we procrastinate we don’t give it the best shot in our life and consequently we can’t get a best result and instead we can get in trouble.

By procrastinating about our finances, we can end up in serious debt. Generally, debt will affect other people too, family members, our children, our partners.

If we procrastinate about our health matters, the consequences can be extremely serious.

So far we went through the reasons why we procrastinate and their consequences, now it’s time to see what we can do to stop procrastinating.- See more at:

What Can We Do to Stop Procrastinating?

Good thing is that there are countless ways on how to overcome and beat procrastination, so don’t worry!

Many people believe they can not change. Have you ever heard or used the expression “I am what I am”?

I have personally used it quite few times, before I started my personal development journey and before I realized that we can become what we really want. I said want and not what we wish to be, there is a big difference between wanting and wishing.

Now, sorry to disappoint you, but yes, we are what we are as a consequences of our life but if WE WANT, WE CAN CHANGE ANYTIME.

Life is a set of habits, it is about creating new good habits and lose the bad habits that prevent us from living the life we really want. It is really that simple!

So before any change can happen in our life, first of all, we have to believe that a transformation is possible. There comes a time when we must say: “I want to change.”

So are you willing to change and stop procrastinating?
Here are some Tips to Stop Procrastinating

1 # First step is to acknowledge and accept that procrastination is our weakness and stop blaming other people (our parents, our upbringing, our circumstances etc). We are responsible for our procrastination and only us can do something about it. The first step toward overcoming procrastination is recognizing that it’s a problem.

2 # Accept responsibility. We can’t overcome procrastination until we accept the fact that we are responsible for what we make of our life.

3 # Once we have accepted that we procrastinate we need to ask ourselves, “In what ways I procrastinate?” Sit down with pen and paper and using the common reasons I have listed above why we procrastinate, figure out your own reasons for procrastinating. Writing them down will help you focus and identify them more clearly.

4 # Once we have written a list with all the reasons we procrastinate, we need to write another list, this time is about all the things we have missed for having procrastinated.

This is how you can title your list: “Procrastinating caused me the following problems”. Then think of how your life could have been now if you didn’t procrastinate and write them down.

5 # Looking at what we are missing or we have missed procrastinating, we need to make the decision we want to stop procrastinating. Are you ready now to stop procrastinating?

6 # Having made that decision is not enough, we need to have a sincere and strong desire to stop procrastinating.

7 # Remind yourself daily “I will not procrastinate today. It is unproductive. I have tasks to do, and I will write them down so I can decide which of them need to be done first. When you decide which of your tasks need immediate attention and those that can be done later in the week, you’ve just learned the fine art of prioritizing.

8 # Create a plan is just one of the many positive approaches that helps combat procrastination. Schedule difficult tasks for the time of day when your energy is highest.

“By failing to prepare you are preparing to fail.” Benjamin Franklin

9 # Fix your procrastination environment. Your environment can have a direct impact on your productivity.

10 # Enthusiasm – The best weapon in the war against procrastination is Enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is what makes the difference between reaching our goals and giving up before we get started. Tackle a problem that’s been a thorn in your side. When you get in the habit of making things happen, your enthusiasm goes through the roof.

Mark Twain said, “Do something every day that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.”

11 # Face your fear and do it anyway. There is only one way to overcome fear, we have to force ourselves to do the thing we fear. When we face our fear and do it anyway, our confidence gets a big boost. Soon we will laugh at the imaginary fears that have kept us from becoming all that we can be. And we can do something about it today.

12 # If you want to stop procrastinating, get inspired and spend time with people that inspire and motivate you. Seek out individuals who have successfully overcome the habit of procrastination and draw inspiration from them.

13 # Stay away from negative people. Attitudes are contagious, negative people infect us with negative attitudes. Associate with positive thinkers; their self-confidence is contagious, too.

14 # Learn how to control and replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts. When your mind says you can’t do something, refuse to listen to it.

15 # Believe you can. The power of belief is a key to success in everything we do.

16 # A positive attitude can help us overcome procrastination. We need to focus on the result we want to achieve. The more we focus on problems, the more discouraged we’re likely to get. Give your full attention to whatever you’re doing. Start practicing Mindfulness.

17 # If you’re a chronic procrastinator, you will experience problems staying on course for the first few weeks. It’s like going to the gym for the first time. You’re all entusiastic for the first 3 days and then you stop. Old habits die hard. So if you missed doing the tasks you planned to do yesterday, it’s not a big deal. Revise the list, and plan on doing them within a specific time frame. Don’t dwell too long on what you failed to do.

18 # Breaking up Things into smaller Steps. Break these down into smaller steps and you can focus on one step or part at a given time. You will find your task to be simple and you will find the motivation and eagerness to do things now. Dwelling on difficulty and size of tasks will just overwhelm you and promote procrastination. Break down your long-term goals into measurable tasks. This is the only way you can stay focused enough to keep moving toward your long-term goals.

19 # Positive Thinking Think about positive words that trigger you to keep moving on. This can not to be taken in just a snap. You need to deal with your tasks one by one. It really takes lots of small steps before you can completely accomplish things.

20 # Practice Meeting Goals. The more practice we do the better results we get. Practice can also boost our self confidence.

21 # Increasing your energy can help you defeat procrastination. Lack of exercise is a well-known cause of chronic fatigue. The best way to increase your energy level is by exercising regularly but also meditating and practicing Consciously Breathing.
Following a regular exercise program, eating the right foods, alternating between sitting and standing, and doing some simple stretching during the day, all of these techniques keep energy high.

22 # Have a Purpose and long-term goals. Have you discovered your purpose in life? Do you have long-term goals? Finding and focusing on your long-term goals is a powerful cure for procrastination.

23 # Once we have done what we wanted to do, it’s very important that we congratulate and reward ourselves. “I completed my task! I focused well and didn’t allow myself to procrastinate.” Congratulating ourselves can help us to associate a good feeling of achievement. Whenever we accomplish things and reach our goal, we have to reward ourselves for our effort of getting things done. Many individuals are caught up working continuously and they forget to relax and reward themselves.- See more at:

Benefits of stopping Procrastination and Getting Things Done.
Getting things done give us a relaxed feeling and we lose that guilty feeling.
Accomplishing things make us more effective and productive.
Getting things done supports us in following our dreams.
Getting things done help us make and keep commitments. When we accomplish things successfully we will love not forgetting or delaying things anymore because we have already been in that point where we are ultimately happy and satisfied with the fruits of our hard works.

The benefits of getting things done are tremendous and we can only reap these benefits if we stop procrastinating and get things done right away.

When we learn how to take charge of our lives, our self-esteem improves and our confidence grows. No matter how long we’ve been struggling with the demon of procrastination, we can start to take control of our life today by tackling a job or responsibility we’ve been putting off.

Conquering procrastination can help us reduce stress. If we have a habit of putting off tasks we fear, if we tend to avoid situations and events that terrify us, our fears have grown out of proportion. Every time we decide not to do something because we’re afraid of failing, our self-confidence takes another hit.

If we analyze a lot, we could get paralyzed and stay stuck in analysis mode. This could lead to tunnel vision.

Avoiding procrastination means we don’t have to change our life radically. People procrastinate because they’re overwhelmed by the enormity of
what they’re facing.
Why stopping procrastination can make us feel happier?

In conclusion now here are my reasons why if we stop procrastinating we will feel much happier.

As I have stated in another post Happiness is a state of mind created by positive and good emotions. When we feel at peace with ourselves, we can be happy, but if we dwell on negative emotions, we can’t certainly feel at peace with ourselves and consequently we can’t be happy.

Happiness is a positive emotion, and procrastination as we saw before, can create only long term negative emotions.

So yes, if we stop procrastinating, we will definitely feel much happier!

Here I am at the end of the post, I hope I have inspired and motivated you enough to push you to stop procrastinating.

Now it’s the time for You to take ACTION!

Do you have any comments? Would you like to ask me something? Feel free to add your comment below!- See more at:

martes, 4 de agosto de 2015

6 consejos para ser más feliz en tu trabajo

6 Ways To Be Happier At Work
U.S. News & World ReportBy Laura McMuller

Your commute home is agony. (Last out of the office again!) Afterward, your dinner conversation is bitter. (No one appreciates me at work.) Then, your sleep is restless. (I can't believe I have to go back to that office in a few hours.)

And it all started because work is terrible.

You're not being discriminated against, harassed, hurt or bullied -- for those issues, visit the websites of the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and the Workplace Bullying Institute -- you're just sick of workplace misery lingering long after you sign off for the day.

Cheer up. Here's how to hate your terrible job a little less:

1. Keep your cool. First off, delete that scathing email to Brian you've been drafting. Exit out of that Gchat conversation about how annoying Leslie​ is. And -- for the more aggressive readers -- put down that stapler gun aimed at Mike's big, stupid head.

You may need your co-workers' help in the future if you try to leave this terrible place, so keep it professional. As Carolyn Betts, founder and CEO of Betts Recruiting in San Francisco, ​puts it in a U.S. News blog post about career missteps: "Burning bridges is the No. 1 way to damage your career -- worse than not performing at your job." ​She adds that employers know you handpick your references, so, for less biased insight, they may very well snoop around to get input from Brian, Leslie and Mike. What would they say about you?

Another rash decision to avoid: leaving your job without another offer lined up. ​"Be careful not to create a situation where you can't get another job or you get so pissed that you leave and can't support yourself or feed your family or pay your rent," says Robert Sutton, organizational psychologist and author of "The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't."

Job searching, on the other hand, is likely a good move if you're miserable at work. Just don't look for a new job while you're on the clock.

2. Focus on your outside-of-work life. If all you have going on in your life is work -- and work sucks -- where else will you find happiness and fulfillment? San Diego-based psychiatrist David Reiss suggests asking yourself: "Do I have a sufficient life outside of work so I don't become dependent on work for what it won't necessarily provide?"

Dinner with family or friends, book club, craft projects, recreational sports, movie night -- find something to fill in this blank: "Work was a drag today, but at least I have _______ to look forward to."

3. Confront co-workers. Reiss sees a trend among his clients who are unhappy at work: Ninety-five percent of them have issues either directly or indirectly related to interpersonal relationships, as opposed to the actual ​job. In other words, it's the people -- not the paperwork.

Linnda Durré​, psychotherapist, business consultant and author of "Surviving the Toxic Workplace," suggests speaking up to people who are making your job harder. "Start out positive, deliver the feedback and end positively," she says. For example: "Brian, the reports you submit are always well done. However, you continually submit them late, and that puts our team behind schedule. Please try to meet deadlines going forward, and let us know how we can help you get back on track."

And to ensure a paper trail for these interactions, "always, always, always put it in writing," Durré says.

For more advice on handling people problems, check out these U.S. News posts about dealing with toxic co-workers and difficult bosses.

4. Set boundaries. Think of your co-workers as just that -- co-workers -- and not as close friends or family members. "Keep it friendly but professional," Reiss says.

Doing so will make sensitive workplace interactions (like calling out Brian) feel less emotionally loaded. You'll also be thankful for the personal distance if one of your co-workers becomes your supervisor, or the other way around. Managing and being managed is hard work, and they're both more difficult if your counterpart is a friend.

5. Emotionally detach. This step is for when things get really bad, as you discreetly job search. "It's like sitting in the worst seat in a completely crowded airplane, sitting between two 300-pound people," Sutton says. "All you can do is just get through it and get as emotionally detached from it as possible."

It'll be easier to achieve this Zen-like resiliency to stressors once you've evened out your work-life balance and kept work relationships professional.

6. Change your perspective. And maybe tweak your expectations for workplace happiness, while you're at it. "Every job has great things and bad things," Durré says. "Nothing is perfect."

Once you realize that a perfect job and a paycheck isn't a realistic goal, you'll likely feel better about accepting some bad with the good.

Reiss suggests you look at work like this: "If I get my job done well, and people are reasonably polite, and I get my paycheck, it's a success."

6 Ways To Be Less Miserable At Work originally appeared on U.S. News & World Report.

lunes, 3 de agosto de 2015

7 Claves para tener una mente tenaz ante el Stress

7 Ways People With Phenomenal Mental Toughness Combat Stress

Amy Morin, LCSW


Author, "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do"@AmyMorinLCSW

While stress causes some people to crumble, mentally strong people continue to thrive in the midst of added tension. In fact, they view adversity as an opportunity for self-growth. Whether they're dealing with financial setbacks, health problems, or workplace difficulties, mentally strong people don't let stress drag them down.

Here are seven ways mentally strong people handle stress effectively:

1. They accept that stress is part of life.

While some people waste time and energy thinking things like, "I shouldn't have to deal with this," mentally strong people know that setbacks, problems, and hardships are inevitable. When stressful situations arise, they devote their efforts into doing what they can to move forward. Even when they can't change the circumstances, they know they can always take steps to improve their lives.

2. They keep problems in proper perspective.

Rather than think a flat tire has the power to ruin their whole day, mentally strong people keep inconveniences in proper perspective. When they're tempted to catastrophize a minor event -- such as thinking one mistake could ruin their whole career -- they respond by reframing the message they give themselves. They refuse to allow a pessimistic inner monologue to take hold.

3. They take care of their physical health.

Mentally strong people recognize the importance of keeping their bodies in smooth operating condition. They recognize they won't be able to combat stress if they're worn out and running on empty. They exercise, get plenty of sleep, and maintain a diet that keeps them keep them healthy.

4. They choose healthy coping skills.

While some people turn to alcohol, junk food, or other unhealthy vices to help them escape stress, mentally strong people choose to cope with discomfort in a productive manner. They allow themselves to feel uncomfortable emotions, like anxiety, fear, and sadness, head-on. They use healthy activities, like going for a walk or participating in a hobby, to cope with emotional pain.

5. They balance social activity with solitude.

Sometimes, in an attempt to avoid facing problems, people fill their schedules with social activities. Others deal with stress by withdrawing from their friends and family. Mentally strong people, however, strike a good balance. They maintain a healthy social life even when they're stressed, but they also reserve time to be alone with their thoughts.

6. They acknowledge their choices.

Stress can cause people to feel like a victim of bad circumstances. But mentally strong people acknowledge that everything they do, from the time they wake up until the time they go to sleep, is a choice. They're willing to say no to things they don't want to do and they accept responsibility for their behavior.

7. They look for the silver lining.

Mentally strong people don't necessarily see the world through rose-colored glasses -- their outlook is a realistic outlook -- but they do look for the silver lining in tough circumstances. They recognize that good things can stem from stressful circumstances. Rather than allowing hardship to turn them into bitter people or helpless victims, they choose to use stressful circumstances to become stronger and better.

Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, keynote speaker, and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do, a bestselling book that is being translated into more than 20 languages.

This article was first published on Inc.

domingo, 3 de mayo de 2015

Getting to Serenity: 10 Daily Habits for Inner Peace

Writer, attorney and co-founder of the blog,

We all want serenity, that elusive state of calm that seems to belong solely to Tibetan monks and yoga instructors. People with serenity are better equipped to enjoy life. Their small problems remain small and don't become magnified into huge catastrophes. And when real crises arise, they react with steady, clear thinking.
However, serenity isn't achieved without effort. Just as we need proper exercise habits to have healthy bodies, we need good mental habits to have peaceful minds. To that end, here are some daily habits to get you on your own path to serenity.
1. Give Thanks Continually. When your alarm goes off, before you even get out of bed, close your eyes and think about the ways in which you've been blessed. Consider the most basic gifts that you have: a job, good relationships, your home, your clothing, your health. Then continue to give thanks throughout the day. If someone lets you in their lane when you are driving, give thanks. When your paycheck is deposited into your account, give thanks. When your child comes home from school safely, give thanks. Make a point of acknowledging every good thing that happens to you.
2. As Soon As Your Mind Wanders Off in The Wrong Direction, Get It Back on Course. We know when we are getting mentally off course. We get irritated over minor things. We decide it's our job to correct other people's bad behavior. We obsess over past slights. These are all symptoms of the mind going down a path toward wrong thinking. Like a car that has shifted into a lane with on-coming traffic, our minds also can shift into the wrong lane. As soon as that happens, stop what you are doing. Walk away from the person who isn't acting properly. Then do whatever it is that helps you get your mind back on track. For me, it's reading something spiritual. For others, it may be listening to inspiring music or talking to a good friend. By re-directing your mind, you can more easily return to clear thinking.
3. Practice Acceptance. Practicing acceptance doesn't mean that you allow yourself to be treated poorly by others. It means that you accept others for who they are. If someone is a jerk or manipulative, that is who they are. It's your choice whether or not to spend time with them, but accept that you can't change them. Likewise, practicing acceptance doesn't mean that you don't try to improve your life. For instance, you may not like your current job or home. Accept your situation for what it is today. Do your best at your job, and make your home as beautiful as possible. Appreciate that you have work and a place to live. Then do what you can each day to get your dream job or home in the future. Acceptance isn't stagnation. Acceptance is understanding what you can and cannot change.
4. Be Kind To Others. There is no scenario in which being unkind to others will benefit you. So be careful how you operate. The ugly things that you say and do to other people may affect them, but those actions will poison you. If you are unhappy, take a long, hard look at your behavior. If you spew mean comments or take advantage of people, you will be miserable. I can't sugarcoat that. Instead, be consistently kind. Build others up. Be helpful. You will find that by doing those three things, you'll be at peace with yourself because you will actually like yourself.
5. Be Careful What You Drink. Some things we drink can affect our minds. Coffee, tea and some soft drinks have caffeine. Caffeine affects each person differently. Evaluate how it affects you. If it makes you jumpy or irritable, then either reduce your consumption or eliminate it altogether. Alcohol affects people differently as well. If drinking wine, beer or hard liquor makes you anxious or depressed, again, limit your drinking or cut alcohol out of your life altogether. Being happy is more important than your Starbucks or your nightly glass of wine.
6. Get Enough Sleep. Our minds cannot think clearly if they aren't rested. Small children need copious amounts of sleep in order to be happy. Adults are no different. While we may not throw ourselves on the floor and scream if we haven't had a nap, we function only slightly better without sleep. Develop good sleep habits. Go to bed early. There is nothing wrong with going to bed at 9 p.m. The television shows you are missing aren't nearly as important as your serenity.
7. Watch and Read the Right Kind of Books, Movies and Television.What we watch and read affects how we think. Choose your entertainment carefully. There is a lot of violent, pointless junk out there which is deemed to be "avant-garde" or "creative." If you want to have a relaxed mind, spend your time watching and reading things that have a positive message or that educate. Don't spend your valuable free time filling your mind with garbage just because it's popular.
8. Keep a Clean, Uncluttered Home. There is a reason why spas don't have dirty towels on the floors and shelves covered with knickknacks. You can't relax in a place that is messy. A cluttered home or room is a sign of a cluttered or unstable mind. Make your home a place that is tidy and beautiful. You should breathe a sigh of relief when you enter your home. It should be a refuge for both your mind and your senses.
9. Spend Some Parts of the Day without Noise. There is nothing wrong with television per se, but there is something wrong with the television being on all the time. People tend to turn on the television to avoid being uncomfortable. We are either uncomfortable with our families, or we are uncomfortable with ourselves. So we distract ourselves from that discomfort with a lot of racket. The problem is that noise impedes you from truly relaxing. Make the choice to give your ears and mind a break, and enjoy the silence.
10. Spend Time with the Right Kind of People. There are people who can't help but be a problem. Everywhere they go, they create drama. Someone has always done them wrong, or they are continually upset about something. Or they just can't say anything nice. Give those people wide berth. You can't necessarily eliminate those people from your life, but you can limit your contact with them. It is a matter of self-preservation. When you allow people into your life who bring chaos, it is very hard to maintain your serenity. It isn't your job to make their lives better. It is their job to not spread their brand of drama.